Today, we had a guest from some government agency. The thing is - i already know abt this because i am the person that pickup the call. To me - to my ears - to my brain, it sound super simple. Its just a document verification. sound simple right, but apparently its not. (i have escalated the matters to my hod - i left them to deal with out because it is absolutely beyond my pay check already. super suprised when i was invited to the meeting bcs definitely does not want to deal with it) i feel super bad to the officer - because my directors was not so nice during the discussion. i was super flustered with how the discussion escalate - i even try to apologize to the officer for my boss reaction when i am walking them out but huhuhu the officer was not very nice. Apparently we can't talk to the officer (sumpah i was literally shaking trying to explain to them that ive told them about it - ive try explaining to my directors however he was not reciprocate it nicely - basically i am trying to apologize for my boss reaction and for any the recent hit and miss communication that just happen). Boy oh boy, the officer reaction was so cold stone - he literally said sorry ms we will no longer speak about this. 

You know my face when he said that - i turn white! i am literally not a fair skin colour person! i was shaking- i was so shocked and i was so sad :(((((. everything felt like its my fault - did i not do enough? am i not explaining it so well? what did i did so wrong - i felt so bad especially for the officer because he literally just want to do his job and in my work i also with outsiders and i would feel so devastated if i been treated like that when i literally just want to do my job.

ugh i feel so bad for everything - i feel like i need to talk it out tapi dengan siapa. the matter felt to pnc and i know I WILL overshare especially i am feeling emotional. I am feeling so blue that i dont feel like eating - but i just cook anyway because maybe it help me disassociate from the matter. anyway after that i also eat - macam tak ada poin kan cakap tak ada selera la apa lah. anyway, now that ive ramble this long. i felt much better -