Assalamualaikum and Hi, everyone! . What time is it?! It is time for a new update! My blog has been getting sufficient attention these few months. I didn't expect my next post to be this close to each other, but your girls need to outsource her feeling, or she will go mentally ill. NOW I don't want to discourse more on that matter. Honestly, I am also a bit shocked to see there are actual people still reading my blog. Okay, now its either real people reading my blog, or I am crazy enough to read my own post multiple times ahahahahhaha. Now, does anyone have a guess what I am going to ramble my keyboard off? YES! You are absolutely right! It is to update how I am feeling about my 3rd job and how it is living in the city! I know we are all curious about it (at least the future me is, I am curious about it). I would love to dedicate some of my blog posts to it. After all, I don't know how long I will stay in this job (or here!) hahaha. LET'S DIVE IN!  

i start writing this blog post around 7AM tapi I is already mengantuk. APAKAH?!! Tanda peningkatan usia ataupun tanda I dah semakin pemalas tsk tsk tsk

NOW NOW, Let's dive in seriously!

3RD CAREER

okay, now, let's put a honest cap. BECAUSE I AM SURE, I just want to make sure this post really reflect how I feel. I is don't want to tapis tapis and filter out ya. I will filter out necessary information lah but this post mental note: purely out of my heart because I need to cry it out. Okay honestly, the job is okay. Living alone is, of course terrible in its own way. I really went out alone. I cry a few times, per week hahahahahhaha but don't be concerned. Remember kids, if you can't solve it. Just cry about it, because for some magical reason, you just will feel better about it. The problem memang tak akan solve but at least you feel better. A win is a win!

Remember when I said I applied for this job OUT OF WHIM and I have no one TO FIGHT except myself because no one pushed me for this job (insert rolled eyes emoji over here). The job is okay, not what I expected it to be but not that it was a bad thing. The job is not exactly 5/5 lah. P/S: I have a weekly compilation in the bird's app of how I feel at the job we are now officially at eighteen weeks in the job alas, so far, there is not one week that gets 4 or 5 out of 5 stars. I know it sounds bad tapi I okay je with the jobs. For me, there are no perfect jobs, but I'm happy with them. Of course, there are days when I am screaming at top of my lungs AKUUUU NAKKKKKK BERHENTIIII, but so far it never got as far as I'm handing the letter in. In my past jobs, I don't really have a great immediate manager or supervisor. It doesn't mean they are not great, but I'm just okay jelah, some of them are worse but on this job. Bro, I tell you, this one is different. I actually like working with her, she is no perfect human being, but I'm okay with that. Honestly, the only reason I stayed in is because of her.

Sounds crazy, but yes. I know not many people like their IM because it is their boss kan, but for me, I guess I am lucky enough to find an IM that I genuinely like working with. To think that I found this job by accident and applied it out of spite and whim. Life is crazy and unexpected. To me, she seems like a cool person, she looks like a person I wish to be when I turn older. I know I will get the icks and I don't want it to be something that will be the thing I regret saying it out loud. I don't want what I am about to say to be something that makes me want to tekup my face with bantal and scream what the hell is this. I hope this is the last I will feel like this. It feels like a sister I never had. cue water works

but yeah that's how I feel about her. that is how much I like her, it feels like I had a sister that looked over me. She makes me feel comfortable! AM I THAT LONELY?! Trust me I ask that question myself every single day. I don't want to be this comfortable! Because I know I am bound to make mistakes, and she will be upset, and I will be upset, and it makes me more upset than I was supposed to be. For all of the good reasons, I really don't want to have an emotional attachment to people and places that I know will be temporary. But yeah now I had it. I just hope this is a temporary feeling maybe I need to get myself a mental check, but yeah, I genuinely like working with my IM because she makes me feel safe and comfortable, and she always encourages me to be a better self version be it works or personal. Is this what people with older sister feels like. Please let me know because I never had one.

 That's all for the time being. VAMONOS! 

1918 footnote: after deep thinking, I decided I will just continue enjoying what I have now and will not think about the consequence of my action. If I can't enjoy everything, I'll just enjoy the little things. 

A little bit longer and feel like a word vomit post for me, but I'm glad that there is a positive outcome from my uncharted behaviour