Assalamualaikum and Hi    for the first time in the first few years. I double update in a short time! First, I would like to gladly announce that your girl has completed her degree!! Fuh, what a challenge! How in the world does the teen me thought that degree is an easy piece of work! Well, well, I still need to wait for my official result to come out first before I completely take a deep breath. 



Well, I've never update if I don't have a story to tell. Aside from unofficially completing my degree (unofficial as in I just handed in my last submission), another thing happened on the day I completed my submission.






my tok ayah passed away...






Therefore, this post I dedicated specially for him. 





I resembled him in so many peculiar ways; I am so lucky to be with him during his last few days and have the opportunity to see his face before he gets buried. I even have the opportunity to "cater" to his needs before moving to the hospital. The day I find out about his death still came as a bizarre occasion. It seems hard to digest, yet I still display a calm face during the day. I didn't shed a single tear, unlike my cousins. I'm more towards bottling it all up. It took me a long time to realize that he is already gone for good, and I need to find the best way to source this feeling. Therefore here I am, writing my feelings out. It took me exactly three days to realize that there will be no one more concerned about my ability to drive a car. Ask me when I will be returning to Johor and ask about my well-being (He is very particular about how long your nails are!)



I must admit that I am not that close with him as my family lives quite far away for most of my life and was only recently able to live closer to his home. Although as I grow older, we grew more distant. He does play a big part in my childhood. I failed to remember exactly everything, but in my prime years (toddlers day), I was technically raised by my grandparents because of my parents; for some reason, we're unable to take care of me due to their works nature. Some of the memories that I will forever embed in my heart as long as possible are when he takes care of me when I'm sick (I'm down with fever), where he tries terribly hard to fix my demand. Or that time when he came to my parents' house back in Kuantan (I can't recall why he came, haha) where he cooks nasi goreng, and we do the silly Mr Bean dance to entertain us. And that is all that I can remember of him; it saddens me that I wish to have more memories with him. I always keep it behind my mind throughout the year that this year might be the last. But it failed to occurred to me that it will be this year. I wish we have five more minutes so we can create more memories that I can personally cherished.





but as the natural law dictates, times will always move forward no matter how much you want to freeze the moment. 





Al-Fatihah, I love you tok ayah. I'm sorry I can't say it to your face